Been up since 4:30, I just can't sleep. My anxiety level is out of control. Today's Steven wake...God give me the strength to make it threw this difficult day. I can't stop thinking of Steven.... My heart bleeds so bad. I need a good cry.:(
11:54 pm
Very emotional day and night. Steven looked like Steven but sleeping in the coffin. It was so difficult for me to see and face the fact that my soulmate is now diseased. His face was cold to touch with the color of a light brown. One would think he actually had a smile or a smirk to him. The funeral hall was packed with friends and family. Steven always told me he had a lot of friends but I never imagined it would be so many. Steven was a good man, well respected and liked by many. Why did this have to happen ? I miss him so much that my heart bleeds deeply. Oh God, why ? What's your plan for us that remain here on earth ? It's so going to be a long night with much needed sleep but the inability to do so. Tomorrow, tomorrow will be filled with sorrow as I lay my husband to rest. Lord...hold me up !
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