April 30, 2011
Well it's another day. I'm very happy to have Steven home from the hospital but it's gonna be hard and emotional road if I’m to continue to work. The doctors (oncologists) recommend yet insisted that I take a LOA starting yesterday for there telling me I need to spend our last days or weeks with nothing but quality time with each other for Steven will eventually die. His liver is not functioning properly and is
shutting down and it will begin to release toxins. When these toxins, once released into the body, he will be sleeping more and more, and eventually pass. Oh dear Lord.... This is going to be the hardest thing I have ever been through in my entire life, watching the one person I love the most in this world, die before my eyes. I feel so hopeless !!! How does one even begin to fathom whats to come ? Its undesirable. Damn I’m so scared, scared of losing my one true soulmate, my life, my world. My HEART so bleeds in so much pain.... Please LORD.... I beg of you..... give me the strength and understanding to get me through these emotional days to come....
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