I just can't seem to get you out of my mind.
It's been just a little over three months now since we said our good byes and I'm still feeling so much pain inside since losing you. I want you to know that great friends and family keep telling me that "Time Heals All Pain" and "I will feel better as time goes by", or "your gonna have Good and Bad days but things will get better." but, they have no idea... no idea that this pain will never go away and NO things will not get better. We had something very special my love...a bond of friendship and true love that only comes in ones lifetime. Steven, you know theres not a day that goes by that I don't cry out for you and I would do anything to have you back in my life. You where and still remain my entire world. I surely can't say "If you only knew" how I feel, for I believe you do know. I can still feel your presence surrounding me every where I go. I know your looking over me and touching me when I'm stressed and feeling blue for your compassion was so special like that.
Steven...Recently my days have been filled with sorrow and bitterness and I know you know why. There's just so much confusion and things here are just so not right since you left. At one time, I thought the word "Family" meant just that, every one would stick by each others side and do the right thing in order to have trust, but now I have my doubts. I know your not at peace with this and I'm so deeply sorry, just know, all this is not my doing nor can I ever make it right, nor will I even try. But, I do want you to know is that I forgive them Steven, for you yes, but, most of all, for myself. If there is one thing that I have learned from you and what will always remain in my heart...I would have to say what was some of your last words to me and that is...."Forgive them Boo...for in order to be FORGIVEN, YOU must FORGIVE." Therefore, I will move on Steven and not let this take a hold of me nor bring me down in anyway. Maybe someday, people will come to terms, do whats right and you can surely "Rest In Peace" my love.
Sadly missed,
Boo
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